This is a letter I wrote with no one particular in mind as a reader, in short, it was for the general public to read and see me as what I am (or was) when I was back in my third year in HS. This is actually in fulfillment of a requirement in my English class. Some things may have changed about me since my third year so some of what's written here may seem untrue: Hi there, guess U don’t know me eh? Pessimistic, aren’t I? Well, I’ve got reasons to be - I do not know what life has in store for me, to myself (and probably to a lot of other people) I’m a nobody, U know. Another “jerk” trying to fit in but never really does. I do not know what my problem is, I’ve got very few “true” friends (maybe none at all); never liked Basketball - which is one of the reasons I’m not that fit (physically), but I do try to be – fit, that is; I exercise almost daily with body building stuff (U know - push ups, dumbbells). I do not have that much guts, either… Oh sure, I did sing in front of the whole school last year (heaven knows if I had made a fool of myself that time), but to say it sarcastically – “As if I had a CHOICE!” What’s more, I am LAAAZY!! Don’t know what makes me so, but I am. I can’t do anything that I’m not interested in. I can’t make good of my schoolwork coz’ I think I’m not cut out to that kind of hardship – which means I probably won’t be able to cope up with the bigger problems I will face as an adult. Can U believe how negative I am? My dad hates my pessimism, says I always put myself down, and my mom’s disgusted with it… Enough about my parents, they’re too good to be true (almost)J. Are you startin’ to think low of me now…? Well, no need to be judgemental in my part, right? U think what U want to think, I’m just me. That’s who I am – on the negative side.
So? I bet you want to hear the positive side of me now, don’t U? or am I boring you dudes n dudettes with my drama? But wait! I’m not done with the pessimism yet… kidding!! Let’s begin: Well… to those computer lovers out there, I’m one of you!! I like computers, but I’m not a handy electrician… doesn’t make sense right? I also like Japanese Anime’s (if that’s a positive aspect), especially the ones with lots of action coupled with a solid and emotional story. In short - I’m a sentimental guy - I read my sister’s 2 inch thick romance novels and even though they’re not generally for guys, the romance and atmosphere of love never ceases to strike me - straight to my heart (what am I doing?! I’m talking – er, writing like a romantic!!). I like those kind of stories – the kind that warms the heart of anybody willing enough to partake of its literary contents and stays there (for a long time, at least)J. I also like to read a lot! I read what I can get my hands on, as long as it catches my interest. I am also a softhearted guy, even gentle, if you will. I don’t like to hurt living things – especially wildlife – animals in general. I’m a giver, I (almost) always give to others, but that is also one of my greatest weakness, for others seek only to abuse… most would think that I am quite violent, actually, I am - only to inanimate objects (walls, floors, etc.) that is. I also got quite a temper… sometimes there is rage inside of me but I just won’t let it out, I’d put on a hurt or even indifferent expression, but deep inside I’m just burnin’ with rage, note: RAGE, not anger, at myself, at those who hurt me (physically and emotionally). But I also have some common sense. I know that some things have consequences, either me getting hurt or me getting in trouble. So I try not to let myself into these kinds of situations. I like lots ‘o’ stuff, but most people my age like B-ball, Rock ‘n’ Roll & MTV music, and I’m just not into those kinda things. The one thing that I find most endearing with myself is my faith. I am a Christian, a Born again (not a Catholic, mind you), and I have extreme faith in God – his existence and his almighty power (omnipotence). My only problem is if I am assured of salvation. Oh, I know that it is not by works (so that no one may boast), but I also sin a lot and it kinda worries me coz I keep on doin’ it again n again, so I don’t think I’ll be able to stop sinning. But I believe in J.C. – “My best friend was born in a manger” as a Christian band, DC talk, sang in one of their albums, and I know that; J.C. is my best friend, caring brother, and loving father all in one!! Well, guess that’s long enough, thanx anyway for anybody who read this and was able to go this far to the end of my composition.
Congratulations! You managed to delve into the depths of a disturbed mind and come out none the worse for wear. Is it presumptious of me to proclaim myself disturbed? Perhaps all of us are, in our own way, disturbed or eccentric - and that is the beauty of diversity - of races, of minds, of faith. All of us will stand out in our own way. Those who force themselves to follow norms are only hurting themselves, for they do not follow what is true to them in their hearts. Of course, there are standards of behavior that society demands in order to continue each individual's peaceful existence - but they are basic and skeletal at best. One should follow one's desire without detriment to any other's life, liberty, property and even happiness if it can be avoided. Well, there you go...